How to Have Sex with your Biological Anatomy

I occasionally used a prosthetic device, but never managed, no matter how hard I tried, to feel anything.

I am a not-very-flexible 30+ trans guy who has been on testosterone for almost a decade. I have been married to a cisgender woman who identifies as pansexual for a few years now. I loved being sexually active with her more than any others before me because she happened to meet me right when I was the most comfortable with my body and it allowed for me to experiment a little bit. Because this is based on my experience, I do apologize that it is particularly heterosexual.

Prior to my wife, I had only ever had particularly one sided sex. I would do wonderfully orgasmic displays of emotional intimacy and in a way, that was what got me off for now. I occasionally used a prosthetic device, but never managed, no matter how hard I tried for a phantom penis, to feel anything. I believe for me, the prosthetic was more visual stimulation and a kind of role playing of a parallel universe where it was attached.

Having been on testosterone therapy for so long, my anatomy did in fact get larger. This was a change I was excited for, and wished it would get as big as it could. I had hoped for enough length to make more sexual positions possible, but based on my genetics, got about 1″…  1.5″/2″ when excited.

I found that when I sat up on my knees with my legs open, was how I got the most growth and reach and based my favorite and most successful sexual position off of this starting point.


Thankfully, my wife enjoys extremely shallow penetration and lubricated rubbing on her outer anatomy. The motion, if you’re going to try this at home, is less of an in and out push and more of a slide it to the top and slide it back down.


The tricky part of ‘cowgirl’ as they call it, is that once you’ve laid down, your anatomy tends to point down and hide a little as opposed to the other position. Turn your hips upward, even try putting a pillow under your butt to help. Once it’s sticking out as best it can be, this is where your partner should sit. Again making sliding motions.

Below are a few additional positions I’ve had success with. Based on your growth amount, or perhaps if you’ve had any type of surgery you’ll be able to find a few extra positions that work for you as well.

It was life changing when I began using my own anatomy for sexual pleasure and I hope to explore further with how my body works and what feels good for it.

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  1. Hey Dash,
    Great article. I appreciate your authenticity and willingness to share such intimate experiences. I am far from that stage in my transition, but it does provide me with new/fresh narrative to consider as my new self emerges.

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