Many of you, or rather, none of you know me. So let me quickly introduce myself. My name is Toni, I am a 31 FTM and I have lived in the Caribbean for my entire life until October of this year. At this tender and easily impressionable age I finally accepted my truth and began insert dramatic music here Journey 2 Toni. This is a journey, however, that is not without a few speed bumps and pot holes, and I will share these with you as they unfold.

So where do we start? Ahh yes, the wonderful changes caused by testosterone. Taking T for many of us is exciting. You eagerly anticipate the body changes, facial hair, and if you are like me,  the bottom growth.  But most if not all of these changes, occur and you seldom realize it before someone else does.

Take me for instance. My mother does not know I have started my journey. The thing about my mother is this, she loves me dearly but does not accept my identity, so of course she was not in favor anything trans. However I carried on with my journey and did so without informing her. I thought that since I was here and she is in a different country, I wouldn’t have to face her. This was something that I clearly did not think through because boy was I wrong! As I am writing this I am currently 3 weeks on T but, my voice has clearly started to change. How do I know this you ask?

My mother and I have been communicating via WhatsApp since I have been in Toronto, and there was no need for me to pick up the phone to call. But recently I finally got my work permit in the mail and I was so excited that without thinking, I called her. It wasn’t until I said “Hi mum!”… pause…“You taking your vitamins? Why you sound sick?” In that moment every single expletive known to man flew through my mind as I tried desperately to find my inner Micheal Jackson voice. Hell at this point a Mike Tyson voice would do!  That didn’t work so I just changed the topic as quickly as I could to something more distracting and then tried to think of an excuse to get off the phone. I was gonna tell her I had to go water the pool but I thought it best to just say I had a meeting instead.

What’s the moral of the story? WhatsApp messaging is always better than a phone call.

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